i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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