Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
