I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
