He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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