spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
