He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
