im gay
i know
yea but for you.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
