dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize