why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i think i have two assholes
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
