whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
