In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
