it wasn't lemon gatorade
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
