garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
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