He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
