Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Come share oat with me in your robe
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
