gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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