I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize