I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
