I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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