its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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