I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
