ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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