I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
