i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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