I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
is wine microwaveable?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
