I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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