You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Panties = found
Randomize
