I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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