I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
