i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
