I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
