pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
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