Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
