If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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