If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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