The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
