How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
