so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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