and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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