he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
