Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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