You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
