I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
