all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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