K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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