It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
