The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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