..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
