I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
