We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
