You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
