shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
