Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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