May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
