just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
